Death and Taxes

I figured if I started this blog with the worst there would be nowhere but UP to go from here right?

So my Dad died.  Just like that. Yes he was 86, but it was unexpected and I wasn't prepared.  Apparently he was.  His last words were "I'm tired."  So he uneventfully went to sleep while my mother was attending to him at his bedside.  The paramedics were called, they tried to revive him to no avail and at 11:45 PM February 15, 2011 my dad was left to rest in his bed where he was always most comfortable.

The last time I saw my Dad was January 20th, 2011 (my mothers 75th birthday).  We (Bert and I, you'll hear more about him in upcoming blogs) went to celebrate and have a short visit.  My Dad was in a good mood, he had been working out in his tool shed more the previous 6 months and seemed to have had a bit of reprieve from his former states of Dementia and Alzheimer's.  He was clear and excited about woodworking again, something he hadnt' been in years.  As we left to take my mom shopping he hollered for me and I went to him.  I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind.  I kissed his cheek and asked what he needed.  He said "Bring a some chocolate will ya? Your Momma gives me one lousy M&M when I ask for chocolate."  I told him I would bring him some chocolate.  When we returned I gave him a Three Musketeer's Bar to eat right away hid another in his desk drawer along with a Milkyway.  He was visibly pleased, wrapped his one good arm around me, thanked me and told me he loved me and missed me and wished I would come around more often.

That was it. That was the last act of love my father and I exchanged.  I consider myself lucky he didn't suffer. My Dad died with the knowledge that I loved him unconditionally and I with the knowledge he loved me the same.

I found out yesterday that my dear sweet friend Steve Swiderski, my champion and confidant for 16 years passed away just two days before my last visit with my father.  Steve was an incredible man. In fact he was the only other person I ever met who held no judgment of others and loved America the way my father did.  My fondest memories of Steve are of hours spent taking about how GREAT the 70's were and how great 70's music was... I made him several CD's and even have a Steve Swiderski Play list in my iTunes that boasts classic hits by Randy Vanwarmer, Styx, Robert John, Player, Orleans, Leo Sayer and many more.... One of our only regular arguments was that he would die and I would not be notified.  I am saddened to admit that I ultimately won that argument.  Which I am certain pisses him off as much as it does me.  Steve LOVED life.  He was the healthiest most fit man I've ever known.  There was never a crumb of junk food in his house.  His refrigerator had bottled water, maybe some Mike's Hard Lemonade, fresh fruit and veggies, Skim milk, protein powder and that nights fresh fish, chicken or steak in it and that was it.  He worked out two to three hours everyday and took great care of his physical well-being.  So to read on the intranet that he died in his home of natural causes at age 46 was a complete shock.  This was the longest period of time that he and I didn't talk on a regular basis the last I heard from him was in December and prior to that I had called him on his birthday like I do every year on July 13th.  As always my conversation with him was pleasant filled with laughter and was from the heart.  He never gave me anything less than his best.  He was my champion and my cheerleader he always encouraged me to choose wisely and to be an example to Dalin.

Loosing my Dad and my friend in the same quarter has been a tough blow.  But more than anything a reality check on how lucky I was for 42 years and 16 years concurrently, to have two amazing men love and support me, cheer me on and want nothing but the best for me.  So Death sucks, but I get it, it happens.  Without death some realizations may never come to fruition.

As for the taxes I see the importance of choosing Blog Titles wisely and will expand upon that thought next time....

For Brownie... My beloved Father and For Squid My beloved confidant.  Both forever in my heart.