It's been a while since I've taken the time to go all "Madonna" on the world and "Express Yourself" via a blog or an Internet post on Social Networks. I have been off Facebook since Wednesday February 22, (4:52pm) 2012. A decision to give something pleasurable up as a Lenten practice even though I haven't been "Officially Catholic" since about 1978 with the exception of going to Mass when in trouble or looking for guidance but still committing Mortal sin by not going regularly (oh and it's 2005 if my mom asks, since Pope John Paul II's death would be the only acceptable reason missing mass). Approximately One week and two days with the bare minimum of only the most prehistoric social networking tools first invented; a few emails here and there with my friends, some text conversations and a pleasant phone call or two. I decided today to dabble a bit on Pinterest and then after reading my friend Doug's Blog (Ask a Gentleman Farmer) which I HIGHLY recommend, I decided to give my own Blog a whirl.
I've used the former socially productive minutes of my days to become more spiritually productive, reading meditations on line, praying quietly for friends with ailing parents, random drunk strangers I've seen in meetings, people once close to me who've walked out of the sunlight of the spirit and for anyone who simply said "please pray for me". What I've enjoyed about this process is the clarity of my mind, the settling in of new ideas. Where I once thought my prayers carried weight with God, that if I prayed long enough, hard enough, sincere enough, God would grant my "wish", I now have an understanding that eluded me for so long. The understanding that if in fact I pray long enough, hard enough, sincere enough, God's will for my "wishes" will still happen as God determines and life goes on. I however, I will change. I will have the opportunity to grow closer to my creator. I will understand that the power of prayer is in the action and the result is a foundation of faith that no matter what the outcome is, I've drawn closer to God. I’ve relied on God, fell even deeper in love with God.
You see I'm a seeker. A seeker you say? Yes a seeker. I am always seeking. I love the life I live today. The connection with God as I understand Him has formed and continues to evolve, shape itself to what is meant to be regardless of my level of effort or lack thereof. Strange as that may sound I have come to accept that God is always present even if I am not. The beauty of this blog, the beauty of not socializing electronically for ME, for my betterment, is that for the most my relationship to God has improved. When that happens inevitably my relationship to those who participate in my life improves.
GOD, that's a BIG GIANT word for some and a teeny tiny insignificant 3 letter word for others... Take it and do with it what you will, run with it to the bank, hide it under your mattress or pass it by like a dull mangled piece of circular copper in the gutter. It's yours to handle and process however you see fit. As for me, I like where things are headed regardless of the fact that I do not know where that is. I've decided, God's got me right where he wants me and I'm ok with that. My spiritual bank account continues to donate to the well-being of others with the promise of overdraft protection as long as I continue to give away what was so freely given to me.
